Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 6

Saturday..... and a half day off!!

Today was a great day. Started with a nice, easy hike where my friend, Barbara, and I sort of slacked off.... but that's ok... we pushed ourselves FAR yesterday and we were just enjoying the gorgeous weather and chatting. The crazy storm that went through here yesterday was over by morning and we had a beautiful sunny hike. Started raining again this afternoon, though, and we had a thunderstorm.... bummer! But whatever. Still had a fun day chatting with friends over a long lunch and then seeing M and the kids via webcam, and doing laundry - exciting!!!

It was the first time I've SEEN the kids since I've been gone.... I think I was avoiding the webcam in case it was too hard to see them and in case it would make me sad or distracted (plus with the time difference, it was hard to schedule a time to see them all). But seeing them today just made me happy.... nothing's changed without me - they're all still the same. And happy. So I feel ok continuing on with this journey knowing they're safe and content with their Dad for the next 3 weeks :) Here's a picture of my little bugs.... come on, they're adorable!

Tonight we had graduation for those that are leaving, and they showed a DVD of both video and still shots taken this past week ..... they have a videographer/photographer on staff who go on the hikes and go to classes and the gym to document the week ... it was fun to see what they'd captured and I seemed to be in a LOT of them (I'm sure everyone thought this about themselves!) and it was really hard to look at myself in the pictures and videos - sometimes I can't believe that's what I look like. Then they passed the microphone around so we could share a triumph or thought or experience with the group. Mine was that I had had a fabulous week and was thrilled to be able to stay for 3 more, and that I couldn't wait to see what I looked like in my 4th DVD on MY graduation! Hopefully there will be less cringing - especially those pool shots - ACK!

As people were sharing their achievements - some teary - I noticed that I was comparing myself. Argggg.... silly thoughts started entering my brain about how I didn't push myself hard enough, that I should have pushed more, should have done more in the gym, I obviously didn't do as much as everyone else. WHY do I do this? I know it's not true and that I need to give myself the credit I know I deserve. I'm also really trying not to focus on anyone else's journey or be influenced by others' experiences. Not everyone has been happy here, and it's hard to hear the complaining and bitching, but I'm really trying not to let that impact MY experience. I am here for me, and me only. I know that, but my internal negative programming sometimes switches on. At least I am noticing it and try to switch it off right away. Although I've met tons of great people here, not everyone (understandably) is in the same place or mindset as me, so I just try to surround myself with positive and supportive people. It's pretty easy to do - and hopefully I'll meet more this next week!

The hike we went to today was at Paramount Ranch... there's an old western town at the start of the trail and it's where they used to film Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and a bunch of movies like City Slickers.. it was really cute! Unfortunately I don't have any good pictures of it as I thought I'd take some on our way out, but my camera battery died. I'm sure I'll be back there though, as it was a great Saturday morning hike, plus, on the way there and back we passed the Bachelor House - where the show is taped.... ooooooooh - exciting, eh!? Oh, and we also saw Charlie Sheen's house and the church that Mel Gibson built? huh.

OK, well I'm going to go and watch a movie on my computer (the storm last night took out the resort's satellite dish - so no TV) and then hit the sack.... exciting stuff, right?!

Leslie

5 comments:

  1. Awesome 1st week!! Thank you so much for posting so many pics... I'm so looking forward to starting my month there & getting to meet you! :)

    Great stuff... keep it up (both there on YOUR journey & on the blog!)

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  2. You passed the Bachelor house!!! Oh, you lucky girl! ;)
    You are seriously SUCH an inspiration, Les. I know you talk about the negative internal voice but I hope you're also noting how STRONG you are and how HARD you work...not everyone has that same drive! In fact, not MANY people have the kind of drive that you do! xoxo
    p.s. How are your new shoes holding up? :)

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  3. Wow it has been an amazing first week. Don't let the negative nellies affect your progress. This is for you, not for them. I am glad you got to see the kids, I am sure they loved seeing you on the web. If you are like me you don't notice the changes in your body as much as others do. I bet they will see a much bigger change in you than you will by the end of the month.

    Bachelor eh? That is my trashtastci show each week. Love it.

    Keep up the good work! xo

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  4. Look at you go, strong girl! It looks incredible; continue to "enjoy" (as I know the physical and emotional pain must impact this!), experience, feel, reflect and dream. You can have everything you imagine.

    Love you.
    Lori

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  5. Leslie~ you are truly an inspiration to anyone seeking positive change in their lives. You are proving that if you put your mind to it, we CAN achieve our seemingly unreachable goals. I am so impressed and happy for you as you challenge your body and mind to the limit and then a bit more. You are doing great and keep up the positive self-talk.

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