I just got back from dinner and the place was packed with new guests. It was so much fun seeing them all come in all nervous and excited - just like I was last week! We all shared our name and where we were from and the stayover guests gave advice. It was great. One of the guests here this week is from Season 10 of the Biggest Loser - Brendan - for those of you who watch the show. Also, Holly from Season 4 was a guest last week, and Sam from Season 9 is now a trainer here. It's neat to have former contestants here - very inspirational. Here are some pics so you know who I'm talking about!
Brendan
Holly
Sam
So a lot of people left today.... it was hard to say bye to Barb, who became such a great friend here and my hiking buddy, but I know we'll stay in touch. Other than hanging around and saying goodbye, I went out for lunch and a movie with a bunch of people - we went to Subway, which, if you watch the show, is a big cliche (but darn yummy)!! and I spent the rest of the afternoon in my room - emailing, putting pictures up on facebook, organizing... it really was quite boring, and I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow and being really busy again!
Everyone who left today weighed out yesterday and some of the stay-over guests weighed in this morning. I've chosen NOT to get weighed as I'm sticking to my pact with myself that it's not about the number of pounds I lose here, but more about what I gain in terms of emotional and mental empowerment. Some people lost a lot (like 12!) and some people lost a little (like .8) and I don't want a number to have power over me or derail me. I saw it happen today... people who were so pumped about what they'd accomplished last week became deflated once their *number* didn't match whatever expectation they had. I MAY weigh in next week at my midpoint just for a check in, but I'll wait to see how I'm feeling then. What I know right now is that the jeans I wore here are uncomfortably too BIG, and that feels good :)
I had a mini *aha* moment today when a bunch of us stay-overs were gabbing after lunch and they were talking about what they liked to do... and one of them asked me "so what are you into? what do you like to do?" And for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything!! Isn't that crazy?! And it's true.... I think I've just made my kids my life these last 6 years and I don't do anything just for me. Unless you consider flaking out in front of the TV after the kids have gone to bed something I'm *into*, and truthfully that IS what I do, under the pretense of NEEDING the downtime because my day was so emotionally draining.... and I'll be the first to admit that there have been periods in my life that I DID need that time for myself to feel recharged, but it's REALLY not necessary any more! First off, I am no longer emotionally drained everyday - I'm no longer caring for 3 *babies*.... and secondly, I know now that I've been using this excuse as way to rationalize not paying attention to me. It's become a bad habit and I am going to change it when I get home. Not that I won't tune into my favorite reality trash TV, because that would be just crazy! but I don't need to do it for 4 hours every night. So one of my goals here will be to come up with some activities and things that I like to do during my free time.... I obviously need a hobby!
I just want to thank all of you who have sent me messages and emails and left comments - pretty much every time I come back to my room I have a message of some sort that tells me how great I'm doing, and it's such a motivation and really does give me wings. For those who read but don't comment or send messages, I KNOW that you are also cheering me on and please don't ever feel like you have to comment! My point is, thank you if you do, and thank you if you don't.... it's just wonderful to know there's so many people out there supporting me!!!
OK - gotta go and organize myself for tomorrow and think about some goals I want to achieve. Tomorrow's assessment hike will be interesting - I wonder what van I'll be put into!!
Sorry - no pictures today!
Leslie xo
Can't believe you have been at " The Ridge" for 1 week, and what an amazing week it was for you! I think it is terrific that you are writing down your thoughts and feelings in this blog... that's a real gift to be able to express yourself so truthfully!( not sure I could do that!). Good luck this week and remember you don't have control over your feelings but YOU DO have control over what YOU DO and how YOU THINK! Your definitely on the right path!
ReplyDeletexo Sue
I was thinking about your comment about the numbers while on my commute today. And I think it's excellent that you are NOT letting those numbers guide your time. Sometimes I think that the extrinsic numbers make us slaves, and let us forget the instrinsic stuff (you are getting healthy, and re-defining your relationship to food - much LONGER lasting impact that a number of pounds lost). And besides, the number on the scale can be muscle vs. fat weight, water loss, that time of the month weight..... the short term variables don't make it a good measure of progress I think. And it's only ONE measure, but it's hard as humans to not let it be the PRIMARY measure.
ReplyDeleteIs my opinion :-)
Loving the posts and photos. You go girl!
Les - I just finished reading all of your posts and I am so proud and inspired by what you are doing! Keep up the great the great work!! Love Kelli xoxo
ReplyDeleteI hate the scale. I am glad I am not the only one. Yeah for your jeans being too big! That is an NSV (non scale victory) to be proud of all on it's own.
ReplyDeleteNeat there are former contestants there, especially Sam. I like watching him in his season.
I bet you make new friends this week and will now not be the newbie on the block. xo